But I am Still A Girl

I tie my hair in a bun
I dab some lip balm on
I wear my floaters with Kurtis
But I am still a girl


I eat like I'll never get food
I can't dance
I like rock music
But I am still a girl.


I have short cut nails
I never played with barbies
I cannot strut
But I am still a girl.




I wear my brother's t-shirt
I hate pink
I snore like a pig
But I am still a girl.


I love bikes
I have a dozen Hot-wheels
I watch American Pie
But I am still a girl.


I don't cry when I am hurt
I can't yell when I am angry
I like WWF
But I am still a girl.


I am not thin
I am not girly
I may not smile for nothing
But I am still a girl.


Why do I need to be your definition of a girl?
Why cant I just be the girl I want to be?

The new nicest thing happening to me!

     All these years.. I'd think to myself... what is the best part of doing what you like?

Is it the pleasure, the end result, the process or just the thought of it?

For me... I realized today after almost 10-12 hours of college, being a part of the process, living the dream, thinking of it each moment and tasting the pleasure, that, all that matters to me, at the end of the day.... is getting tired!

Getting beaten by all the work, standing up, not fighting it but walking along my struggle, my strife, brings a smile on to my face, for its paid off!

The feeling of getting tired and falling asleep anywhere and waking up to walk again is divine!

The feeling of wanting to get tired everyday, is indeed the nicest thing happening to me!!!
So.. cheers, to all the people who are living their dream...

all the people who love the smell of being tired and rejuvenated at the same time!!

Spreading my wings!

     For 17 years.... I believed in some words, some ideas and some people! Today, I've started believing in myself!
     I've realized, that no matter what life does to you, no matter where the wind takes you.... one day, you will realize that some things do happen without any reason, and somethings have such a vital reason- we miss understanding!
     Sometimes, going against the flow helps and some other times... though you know you are stronger... you cannot really help being stuck- you need to wait!
     Today, I've decided to spread my wings and just swim in the air, breathe it inside me and fly, because now, I want to world, as much as I wish it to want me!
cheers!!

When will you come again?

The sun is setting, the moon is about to show.... sipping on my cold coffee... I wonder,
When will the days of blowing over my hot cup of coffee come again?
When will the days of wrapping my palms around the mugs and feeling the warmth come again?
When will the days of spreading my arms outside the window to touch the raindrops come?
When will the days of the aroma of mud come again? [ I call it the 'how I wish it rains' alert! ]
When will the days of reaching late for college will come again? [I guess we don't need the rains for this one]
When will the days of demanding 'pakoras' at home come again?
When will the days of cheer on everybody's face come again?

Its the thickest blankets at home
the locked down a/c


the hot khichdi
steaming samosas
sound of splashing water
the bus stop friends to crib about traffic
the special rickshaw walas who drop you when you say.."please uncle!"
the regular excuse of "gas nahi hai" [there is no gas]
the sharing of umbrellas
the reason to cry out loud and nobody See's you
the long walks..




Most importantly.... everybody who hates love... falls in love, with love all over again!
If something can express love the best.. its neither the sun or the rainbow... its just every drop of rain.. that smells, tastes, sounds like and feels like love!


Dedicated to all those who need another reason to sip on coffee.
Those who don't love the rains yet..
And.. those who can think of nothing beyond its beauty! 

A special passion of her's!

     Well.... now is the season, the time to find a new passion.. a new something that you love, love so much that it makes you happy with just the thought of it!!! Umm, may be some of you are thinking of the girl/ guy you have your heart set on, some might as well think of a nice hobby. However, here the hobby specified is, eating mangoes!
    Only the transgressor will know the meaning of  'forgive me father, for I've eaten far too many mangoes!'
 The vague smell of mangoes while entering the house and realise you had the last one just the previous night!
The 1 a.m. urge to peel a mango and slip it down your throat before anyone catches you!
The endless number of puris you'll gobble down with aam ras!
The dreams of little chunks of mangoes in the sinful milkshake!
The anticipation, for every doorbell sounds like it's the mango vendor!
The only reason you await the summer, despite the horrible heat are.. what else? MANGOES!!
My friends... if you haven't done some mango loving in all these days of the summer, go ahead and explore!!
Not too much... but dedicated to the sole mango lover I've met other than me! Shilpa 'sassy'dhar!!

RICKSHAW

Nothing special about today.....neither does the hot burning sun show mercy,nor do the rickshaw wallas!
The only thing that encourages me to step out of the house after noon is a bottle of chilled water and, a rickshaw. However these days, the attitude adjustment issues of the auto drivers and the rise in the petrol prices is burning a hole in my pocket!
Today was the first the of the indefinite strike of rickshaws.. trust me on this, the crowd in the buses and trains was far more than I expected it to be.
So, from today, to the day the entire matter is resolved, afternoons will be spent in the bathroom for an hour long shower or may be playing cards with friends, watching a perfect Hollywood movie or simply writing something you might as well agree with!!

Do questions lead to hope?

     Some things we say, some things others say to us and some things we do, or some things others around us, do to us..... make us think! Think so much so that.. we end up building a mountain of questions, that we never seem to find answers to! Questions that become nightmares and trouble us. Its like a certain desperation to know something one is not supposed to know, something that one can perhaps, not know!
     Speaking of questions, I thought to myself.. does anybody have an answer to anything? Are we fooling ourselves, by waiting for somebody to come by and just spill those words out, that deep inside we want to hear? Are our thoughts and wishes based on the approval of a second person party, with no individual interest in our issue? Is it that difficult to just go with our gut and fulfill each of our desires, without being self judged? 
     Why can't we say it.. "nobody cares", "nobody knows", "I can do it", "I am good enough"
Instead of asking.. "does anybody care?", "does anybody know?", "can I do it?",  "Am I good enough?"
     These questions give us hope.. to hear the correct words, to see the correct scenarios. Instead of looking at everything negatively... we must get only a different opinion from nobody.. but ourselves. The positive, affirmative look out to our issues!
     May be its time to stop questioning everything we feel. May be its time to 'say'... not 'ask'!!